Missing Dearly

I still miss him. He's moved on, but I just can't stop thinking about him. He was a warrior, and he died fighting. It's cool to think of him and be reminded of him."

A tiny bit of shame sticks to her neck as she turns away. It's now at the top of her shorts, and when she looks back down at it, she sees that her black hair is nicked and a small black stain has taken its place over her lips.

"I do wish I could move on," she says, with a shrug. "But it's not like I'm going to be able to do that, is it?"

"Not really," she says with a smirk. "I'm not going to be able to look at you any more than I can look at my wife. But I don't think that the world deserves to be cut up, either."

"What do you mean, cut up?"

"The world deserves to be cut up," she says, and she almost laughs. "I mean, I believe in justice, but it's not justice that is at stake here. It's—it's only a matter of time before someone inevitably suspects me of something. And then it's only a matter of time before another person finds out about it, and then it's only a matter of time before another person comes forward and charges me with something."

I still miss him. He's moved on, but I just can't stop thinking about him. He was the greatest player of all time," said Locker Kennedy of his former coach. "He wasn't a great player. He was a great coach. He was a great man. He was a great man from start to finish."

At first, the former players seemed confused by the idea that Locker Kennedy was a defensive mind with a trust in his players. "He could call plays," said one. "But he couldn't always play the right way. I thought he was the best coach ever."

But the idea that Locker Kennedy was a defensive mind had a change of heart among the players.

"My first year in college he was the defensive coach," said Locker Kennedy. "And then he was a defensive coach for years. Then he became the defensive coordinator. Then he became the defensive backs coach. Every year he was the head coach. He got up there and he was a manager for a long time. He got fired and he got picked up by the Lions. He got picked up by the Packers, and he became a coach."

I still miss him. He's moved on, but I just can't stop thinking about him.

SCOTT: That's right. I support him, but he's not me.

MIKE: Well, that's easy, because I'm a big fan of his.

SCOTT: I know.

MIKE: Oh, yeah. You know, I don't even know if he's up there with you in terms of, like, who's the greatest person who ever lived. But he's, like, over there. He's not over there, though, to be honest.

SCOTT: Well, he is, but he's not the greatest person who ever lived. I'm sorry, Mike, but I just find that, you know, really depressing.

MIKE: You know, the only thing that really worries me is that he's not wearing pants.

SCOTT: Oh, yeah.

MIKE: And I don't know if he wants to wake up, because he's too far gone. But I do know that I'm not going to wear pants.

SCOTT: Yeah.

MIKE: Yeah, you know what I mean.

SCOTT: I just don't like to wear pants.

MIKE: You know what, that's just wrong. I don't like to wear pants.

SCOTT: I mean, it's a great thing to do, but I don't like to wear pants.

I still miss him. He's moved on, but I just can't stop thinking about him. I remember him as a kid, and when I was younger he used to come over to see me, and he told me about his experiences in Afghanistan, and that he'd had some experience of seeing some of the men. I thought if I could provide him with some comfort, that would be helpful. I've tried to live my life in the most positive light. I never have a bad day. I've written books. I've done a lot of things. I'm happy. And I'm very grateful for the wonderful role I've played in the world. But life is full of things that fascinate me. I've written books on the history of the United States, written more on the history of the world. And I've not forgotten what I saw in those years when I was in Afghanistan. And I've written books on my own experiences of the world. But I think, with some difficulty, I've come to the conclusion that I've been able to tell the whole story of my life. I can tell it in a few words.

I still miss him. He's moved on, but I just can't stop thinking about him. I miss the man."

She had not called for him to be gone. It had been years since he had been away from the house.

"I miss him," she said. "When he came back home — when he went home to his wife and children — he just seemed so normal. He was just sitting at home watching TV and books. I never thought I'd see him again. But I do."

She was silent for a few moments.

"He's been in and out of jail for a long time."

"I was out too," she said.

"I didn't know he was out," said Barbara, who was sitting at the kitchen table, staring with a look of sorrow at the big picture of a garden, the shuttered newspaper, the dusty books, the clean cloths, the little green-leafed books, the large, brown, spiral-bound hand-lettered book, the old family portrait. "I never thought he was going to hang up his pen. But I'm glad he's gone."

I still miss him. He's moved on, but I just can't stop thinking about him.

John: I'm happy that we've got him back. He's been a fan for a long time.

Randy: He's a fan of the game, but he's still only a fan of the game, which is a good thing.

John: I think he's going into a new world, and he's going to be an interesting guy to watch.

Randy: He's such a natural. He's a social guy. You just see him out in the world. He's very interested in the world. He wants to know what's going on, and he's very comfortable in his own skin. He really is a natural.

John: But he's not perfect, and I think that's one of the reasons we're hoping for that. He's a very complicated character, and, you know, he's been through a lot.

Randy: Yeah, he is.

John: We're all going to get along.

Randy: But he's not perfect.

John: He's got a bad habit of getting involved with people he shouldn't be.

Randy: We'll see.

John: He's a thief of the Congo, so he's a character that we've got to get him to change.

I still miss him. He's moved on, but I just can't stop thinking about him.

When I meet with him in the hallway, he's dressed in a turtleneck sweater, blue jeans and white sneakers. He looks almost new to life, and I remember him standing in front of the elevator at the Sheraton hotel in midtown Manhattan as he was building a new apartment. He was fresh out of prison and working as a taxi driver in New York, and he was in the midst of building a new life for himself. He had lost his wife, but he was now a single father and, at a young age, his third child. But today, he was on the verge of divorce, and after a couple of years of trying to make ends meet, he had run out of money. He felt he had to move on, but he was still a troubled young man.

Recently, he had been living in a small apartment on the Upper East Side, while his wife, who had recently started a new career, had joined the church. He had started to work on the outside of his apartment, and he still had his first apartment to give away. He had started to change the locks on the windows and windows a little bit. He was still smoking cigarettes, but he wasn't quite sure how to do it.

I still miss him. He's moved on, but I just can't stop thinking about him. I don't know how I got past him and what he did to me. But I know it was close."

Muehlhauser's parents, who had asked me to write about the flood, moved to New Orleans in July. When I told them about the flood, Vincent said, "You know, we're going to go out to the lake and see what Ned's doing."

He didn't want to talk about it, but he was good with me. He wanted to say, "I'm as good as I could be. I couldn't have done it without Ned, and I'm glad he's moved on."

He could have been better than any man I've ever met. He had a family, and he took care of his own, and he said, "I'm going to go to New Orleans. I'm going to do my part."

He made his own way. He was an avid gambler, and he was an old man. He loved playing cards and talking about politics. He was a man of many things, and he had a lot to tell.

I still miss him. He's moved on, but I just can't stop thinking about him. He was my mentor in everything."

Lately, he's been on a mission to look for his father.

"I always wondered if he knew where I was," he said. "He just came around on this trip and said he was looking for me. I always wondered if he was looking for me too."

He isn't a stranger to the craft.

"I had a friend who had a train running from Virginia to New York," he said. "He was working on it when I left. He had to go to California to get settled, but he stayed in touch with me. He says, 'I want to take you for a ride.'

"He said, 'I'll get you a ride to the train station.' I said, 'Well, what train station is that?' He said, 'It's in this neighborhood. It's a railroad, but it's run by the family of the railroad company.'

"I said, 'What is this?' He said, 'It's the railroad,' and he said, 'It's worth a thousand dollars.' He said, 'If you would get the train out of town, I would send the boys out to get you.' And he said, 'I would, but if you would get me up here and I will bless your eyes.'

I still miss him. He's moved on, but I just can't stop thinking about him. He was a great guy, but we all know how much he loved to fire up his engine after work. The way he was so tough on us, he might not even have been with us when a couple of us got injured.

Whenever I hear about the other players, it always makes me smile because they all loved him, but I'm really glad he wasn't with us. It was me, my wife and my kids. He was everything to me.

Pierce: Your wife, it was just a matter of time.

Bud: Yeah, I mean, she was always a brother to me.

Pierce: And your kids.

Bud: Yeah, my kids were always a big part of it.

Pierce: It's funny, because you were a great storyteller. You were completely impossible to find and hard to get to.

Bud: Yes, I remember when we got back from the war, we were sitting in the back of the car and we were talking about what we were going to do with our lives once we got back to home. I remember thinking, "Well, I guess we'll go back to fishing." And then we were looking at the fence and going, "Well, there's a lot that we can do."

I still miss him. He's moved on, but I just can't stop thinking about him. I was shocked and saddened to find that he had admitted to murdering his wife and children, and that he had killed himself by hanging.

I feel sad that this is a phenomenon that I cannot control. But it is worth remembering that there are different types of murder, and that a man who commits the very worst of them sometimes does not even live to find out that his crime has been committed.

I don't think that all of the men who are guilty of these crimes are traitors. Some of them are decent people. But they are certainly no longer the men they were when the world saw them in the light of day.

I think that most men who commit murder share in every other characteristic of a man who commits it. They are fairly strong-minded, they are industrious, their morals are good, and they are all of good repute. But they have none of the characteristics of the traitors who commit them.

I still miss him. He's moved on, but I just can't stop thinking about him.

I don't think this has been the most successful year of his life. He won a silver medal with Team Canada, and he was a member of the team that won the gold in the 2012 London Olympics. In the last 10 years, he has won three golds, three silver medals, and one bronze.

There were a lot of people who talked about him in the media after he missed the Olympic trials. There was talk that he might not be able to get back in the team, or even get into the news. But he has gotten back together, and he is playing a great game.

We had a good discussion about it, and he'll be hoping that we'll be able to get him into the lineup for the upcoming games.

That said, this season has been absolutely incredible for him. He's won two gold medals, two silver medals, and a bronze medal in the world juniors. He has made the U.S. team in two of them and has won three medals.

He has been on a world-class run. He's had a couple of really good results in the World Juniors, and he has been a member of the team that won gold in the 2010 Olympics. It was a great experience for him. And we think he will do well in the Olympics.

I still miss him. He's moved on, but I just can't stop thinking about him. I'm sure he's thinking about me too.

She looked back up at him and then shook her head, both to smile and to nod. "But, you don't have to look at me that way. I've had a pretty good life. I'm a very happy woman."

"And you're a very happy woman, too. I may not be the kind of woman who would try to be anything you want, but I would never hurt you. It's only fair, I suppose, that you should have a chance to look at me. I won't be alone in this." Her eyes narrowed at him, and she waved her hand dismissively. "Come, let's go and have a look at the house."

It was a gray, imposing house on a small street, and the two women had taken shelter there from the rain. The house was built in a style that had been familiar to them for many years. It was relatively modern, with a large, modern kitchen and a living room, and it was all shuttered up against the wall. There was a large front porch and a small porch on the other side of the house, and in this corner stood a large, low, white-washed mantelpiece that had been lost in the years between the war and the final settlement of the area.

I still miss him. He's moved on, but I just can't stop thinking about him. I hope he still likes me.

I'm not sure how much of that is a product of his drug use, and how much is due to his own demons. I think that his demons were building up, and he took it out on me.

It was a difficult time for him. He was always this young man with a quiet life in a big city, and you could see there was some tension between him and my parents.

At the time, it was kind of a shock to me. I remember that he had a girlfriend.

And I think he discovered that the girl was sleeping with me.

And then he was getting used to me as a man.

And then I began to see him as a man.

I think he was trying to change.

I don't know what was going on, but I think he sensed that the world was changing, and he felt the pressure to be different.

So then he took a chance. He got a girlfriend, and he wound up having a baby.

I think that's partly why he wound up having a child.

He had a son, and then he had another son.

Or in another sense, I think, he wound up having a second son and another daughter. He had four daughters.

I still miss him. He's moved on, but I just can't stop thinking about him. He was my rock. He was my mentor, and he was my teacher.

He asked me if I knew the story of his wife, who was a sweet woman.

"I know it, too," I said. "She was a pretty bright girl. She was a brilliant student. When you are in your early twenties, you are still learning.

"But she could never find her way. I had no one to guide me. I was an independent sort of fellow. At the time, I had no interest in the world of women.

"I knew I had a wife and I knew that I began to feel the pain of her death. The sadness that followed was like a waking nightmare. I thought of my wife, and I wondered what I might do with her.

"I was going to get married, but I knew I was far too old to take on a wife. I knew I would have to go into the world and try to make amends for my past. I saw, and now I see, that my wife and I had a son.

"As for my wife and the child, it was like a dream. Not a very good one. I had to give up the whole family. The boy was lost to me.

"But I needed a little money. I wanted to live at home.

I still miss him. He's moved on, but I just can't stop thinking about him. I don't know if it's because I'm a woman, but I always feel like the man I met was always a little too rough around the edges. He wasn't all that interested in me. He didn't want me to be his wife.

"It was a great guy," she replies. "It's his pain that's driving me to try to make him proud of me. I hope you can understand that it was a mistake I made, but it's what I did."

"I'm sure you will be glad to know that he never tried to stop me from being a woman," says my mother. "He always thought that was a gift I was destined to receive. He and his wife were very good friends."

"I was well aware of that," says my sister. "My mother, too, suspects that he prevented me from having a wife."

"When he married me, he said he wanted to give me that as well," says my sister. "I didn't ask too much about it, but he didn't take that for granted."

"He didn't then," says my mother, "but he was a very generous man."

"So was he," says my mother. "He gave me the house, my wife, my daughter, and everything else that I needed. But he didn't take that for granted."

I still miss him. He's moved on, but I just can't stop thinking about him. I'm going to take care of him as best I can, but I don't want to leave him behind.

The team would be seen in a number of ways, from family to friends to rivals.

"The team is comprised of our guys," said Tyri. "It's a group of friends that has shared an extraordinary journey together. It's a group of guys who have always fought for each other, but to have the chance to play with him again is an incredible honor."

What A.G. has brought to the table is a level of character, intensity and drive, which is something that many players have never seen before.

"He's been the difference maker," said Brad. "He's been the rock. He's a sword for the guys. He's a real team guy, and his attitude and attitude is infectious. He's a real rock, his attitude is contagious. We all learn from him."

The key is to get Tyri to understand the essence of his role. He is not a player to be forgotten.

"I want to play every game," Tyri said. "I'm going to help the guys out. I'm going to give them the best I can.

I still miss him. He's moved on, but I just can't stop thinking about him. He's a wonderful human being.

The man was, in fact, traveling to Denmark, where Walt Disney World is located.

In the early hours of Tuesday morning, 13 years after his death, Walt Disney was sitting at his desk at his home in the Hollywood Hills, and he was talking with his wife, Patricia.

"I found out I was going to be gone," Walt said. "It was all over the place. I had to travel in the next few days, and then I had to go to Denmark. And I'm doing that. I'm off to Denmark, and I'm off to Scandinavia. He's doing the same thing."

He paused, then answered with a smile, "I'm off to Denmark, too."

That was the last time Walt Disney ever saw Walt Disney.

In the late 1980's, the family, at Walt's command, moved to the small town of Goodyear, Wisconsin. There, the family began to focus on the Disneyland resort, which had opened in 1986.

In the early years, Disney had appeared to be the perpetual owner of the Mouse House, but his control had diminished to a degree.

I still miss him. He's moved on, but I just can't stop thinking about him. I'm a big fan."

"It's definitely shocking to hear that," said Jack. "I know he was a big part of the community. He used to dress up like me and wear my sweater-black pants and my white shirt. But he wasn't just a football player. He was a friend.

"He was a tough guy, almost like a son to me. He told me he didn't feel sorry for me when I went to the hospital."

The hospital, located on St. Johns Avenue, sat quietly for years, and Jack couldn't remember the name of the doctor who dismissed him for the night.

It was still there, lingering in the back of his mind after he had worked there for years.

"It was very nice, though," he said. "It was a nice place to sleep."

The doctor, William Spence, was a veteran doctor with a reputation for being tough on patients.

"He would certainly tell them, 'You're a good boy. You're not going to get hurt and you're not going to hurt anybody else. I'll take care of you for as long as I can, and nothing will force you to stay,'" Jack said. "He was very good at that. But I just think he could have handled it better."

I still miss him. He's moved on, but I just can't stop thinking about him. He showed me that he's a good, good man.

I was sitting with him on the beach one night, and it was just terrible. I'm talking to him about it now, and he's saying, 'I don't know why I did what I did. I just knew it was right.' It was like that moment, when I told the other guy that I wanted to go to Hawaii.

So you were living in Maine when you had the opportunity to go to Hawaii?

I was there from '69 until '81, and then I left in '81.

And then you went back to California?

Yeah, I went back to California.

Why did you go back?

I wasn't going to stay anywhere. I was going to go to California and become a writer, but I didn't know that I could make a living writing. I quit writing, and I was a writer in New York. I became a writer in California, and I never got back into it.

Now, I've been a writer for a long time, but when I got back to California it was like the first time I had seen the sun. I'd never seen the sun in my life. And I thought, "Oh, I'm not going to make it there again."

I still miss him. He's moved on, but I just can't stop thinking about him. He's such a good guy and a good friend."

The man asked me if I'd ever consider going to college, and I told him I'd never be sure until I was there. I had no idea that men would go down exactly this path. I had never seen one before, and there were no signs that they were getting away. But I knew there was an individual who had fallen into that path.

I felt that I knew him by the way he answered my questions before I left the room. He was a tall, thin man—a burly fellow who wore a hat like a plaid hat—and he wore a white shirt underneath a blue one. There was a net over his shoulder, and his shoulder was covered by a jacket, which was like a cloak of scarlet, with a collar of purple.